you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Bang-toberfest begins!!
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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