Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
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