Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
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