i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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