I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Randomize
