Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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