I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
