I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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