My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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