She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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