Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
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