I wish I could punch you in the face.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
