somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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