so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
you never un-have a 4some
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize