Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Randomize