We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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