this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
