I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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