I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
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