What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
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