dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
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