stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Randomize
