I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Randomize