that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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