found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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