you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Dick very happy bro
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Randomize
