Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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