You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize