You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
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