We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Randomize
