She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Randomize
