Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
