foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
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