So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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