thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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