he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
