and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
