im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
