____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Randomize