Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
