you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
sex in a hospital.. check
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I think people are normalizing furries
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
