Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Randomize
