she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize