how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
Randomize
