I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Please don't give away my fajitas
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
