alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
