Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
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