Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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