the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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