FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
He passed out mid-signature
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
