is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize