He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Couch. On fire.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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