clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Randomize
