it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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