i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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