Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
i think my cat just said my name.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
you never un-have a 4some
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
