My cat gives me a boner
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Randomize
