new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
