Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize