wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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