brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
