She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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