I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
too bad you live with your parents still
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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