I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
