If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
