Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
i out mim tonsoeep
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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