My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
