I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize