Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
