I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
