I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Randomize
